A Rare Subversive Plug

You probably suspected as much, but among all of our friends, I’m considered a stylish trendsetter of sorts. A tastemaker par excellence. I was wearing shoes like “TOMS” back in 2000, well before the company's founder could even distinguish between Madonna and Evita Peron. (Nevermind that I referred to them as French peasant shoes or that I think they first belonged to an 80 year old woman before I acquired them secondhand. I consider these pesky, inconsequential details.) And Smart cars? I drove a hybrid one to my senior prom.

So it should come as no surprise that, for the last couple of weeks, I’ve been getting urgent, almost frantic e-mails, phone calls, and unexpected visits from throngs of acquaintances who want to know what they should get their loved ones for Christmas. “What’s the next big thing, Sean?” . . . that’s the common refrain. Well, since I’m a busy man and need to save the hassle of interacting with all you plebes, I’m just going to post the inside info here so you’ll stop harassing me and wasting my time: treasure hunting is where it’s at. You heard me right – metal detectors are the next hot gadget fad. I've recently seen hordes of hipsters roaming the parks and street medians throughout the five boroughs of New York with these things. And you know what that means – next stop: Your Town, USA. To sweeten the deal, word on the street is that Apple is about to come out with its own iMetalDetector, just in time for last-minute Christmas shopping.

But if you can’t afford the touch screen version, you should at least check out a beginner's model at White’s Metal detectors. Their commercials are enlightening, to say the least – never afraid to confront the key metaphysical issues of our time (albeit in a deft and amazingly subtle manner). I could give you more details about their sleek interface and cutting edge functionality, but I couldn’t do them justice. They really just sell themselves – simply listen to the convincing words of some of their owners:

"One of America's fastest growing outdoor activities" . . . http://whiteselectronics.com/content/view/4797/520/

Ohh the stories you'll tell: http://whiteselectronics.com/content/view/4560/515/

Maybe the one I cherish most.-- a frank and insightful discussion with the the President of White's: http://whiteselectronics.com/content/view/4546/481/

And in case you're hungry for more, a full-length infomercial, including interviews with real life treasure hunters!: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-nqK2exnC4&feature=related

I know what else you’re wondering: Where does he find such great gift ideas? How is he ALWAYS in THE KNOW? Well, I’m typically not disposed to give away my sources, but as an early, extra-special holiday treat -- a gift from me, the prescient Blogger, to you, my feeble but faithful follower -- I will divulge this one secret: The Family Channel. Get cable, watch it for commercials if nothing else, and the rest will take care of itself. Your heart will sing with inspiration, your mind will buzz with creativity. Ohh Disney Muse! Eisner was genius!