Not everyone can claim to be named after an action-movie celebrity from the 60s and 70s. But, in a moment of boundless and breathtaking inspiration, my parents decided to name me after Sean Connery. They were moved by his deep and introspective work in classic arthouse films like GoldFinger, Dr. No, and Thunderball. What better way to motivate a child to the zenith of human achievement, those two crowning experiences of all great figures: philandery and international crimefighting intrigue. Naturally, I was hoping that we could continue this meaningful tradition by giving our firstborn child a name from the subsequent generation of action heroes. I even had a shortlist:Sylvester Sims
Arnold Sims
Mel Sims
Bruce Sims
Harrison Sims
Keanu Sims
Jean-Claude van Sims
Steven Seagal Sims (my personal favorite)
So many of those have a great ring to them, don’t they? But of course, as fate would have it, we found out we’re having a girl, and there aren’t many good female action heroes that I can think of. If you can think of any, please send names so we can revive our hopes of letting the Sean Connery precedent live on. Otherwise, I’m afraid we’re going to have to start with a clean slate.
4 comments:
Xena Sims
I am in a rush, but I will continue this exercise later. How about Octopussy Sims? I have really grown partial to Ellie Mae, but she wasn't an action adventure heroine. Wonderwoman Sims? Of course my heroes have always been Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models. Molly Sims is taken. How about Claudia Schiffer Sims? I am obviously resisting the temptation to use the most famous Bond girl's name, being from Goldfinger.
Lassie Sims.
By the way, you need to stop grumbling about being named for Sean Connery. I have never told you this, but the second and third choices were: In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida Reece Sims and Jethro Tull Reece Sims.
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